After the awakening (Pitch & Jack)

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

Pitch: *When Pitch is finished, he sends the towel on the floor, which was already a mess anyway because of the lubricant that was spilled on the floor. He tried to aim for it, that would already be something, and he was too exhausted to clean it now.* *He then layed down next to Jack, putting the covers onto them. He rested an arm around Jack, and kissed softly the shoulderblade he could reach without moving* How's your head ?

Jack: *Jack wiggled to get closer to Pitch* My head is terrible, it's hurting for a while now. Do you mind if I... sleep? *Jack turned his head to Pitch, his eyes half-lidded*

Pitch: I told you myself you needed sleep two minutes ago. *His eyes were closed, but he felt Jack turning his head to him, and he opened them to shift and kiss him on the lips* Rest as long as you want. I'll be resting too.

Jack: *Jack hummed and he closed his eyes* Mmkay. *he snuggled closer and he let his consciousness slip away, not knowing he's entering something buried and locked away in a space in his mind.*

oOo

After the awakening (Pitch & Jack) Tumblr_inline_nc4mhkTDmf1rg66rv

oOo

Jack opened his eyes to complete darkness. Where... is he? He blinked a few times. Yep, complete darkness. Can't see anything. Where am I anyway? I was just sleeping with Pitch and then... He flushed and groaned. He can feel his clothes on him... How... Right, dream. He doesn't know where he is, he's probably in the deepest darkest part of his mind, if his guess is ever true. He rubbed his palms over his eyes. Now what?

"Jack?"

The voice sounded like a boy at least. It echoed everywhere, and he can't determine where it came from. It sounded far though. His head snapped up. He scrunched his eyebrows together. "What...?" He whispered.

"Jack? Is that you?" The voice sounded clearer now, and it seems that it came from behind him. And so he turned and - viola! - a glowing boy.

Jack widened his eyes. This guy, he knew this guy. He read about this guy in a book that got from Ombric's library, but then, how did he get that book? Ombric wouldn't like stealing...

"You, I know you. You're Nightlight! But how? Why are you here? I-" He stopped himself. He remembers again. Ombric telling him that he's Nightlight, someone shouting that he isn't. Now that he would concentrate, the voice sounded like... Pitch. He looked up to the glowing boy, who was smiling sadly.

"Oh Jack... You still can't accept? But it's okay, I understand. I never meant for this to happen anyway." Nightlight smiled at him. Now that that Jack was accustomed to the light, he could see that the boy had a shock of white hair like his with two curly strands of hair protruding up and outward, and blue eyes too. But instead of a hoodie and overused brown leather pants, he wore an armour, the design complex. Jack stared.

"Never meant for this to happen? What do you mean?" Jack asked. What did he mean?

"Jack, I swear I'll tell you why you're here, but let me tell you everything why you're chosen to be like this.

"You have read the book about me, and so I'll skip the details of everything between Katherine and I." Nightlight's eyes had a nostalgic gleam to them. "The book didn't record on how I died. But I will tell you.

"As you know the Good Night Kiss have saved Katherine from the Nightmares and it turned me to a real boy. Since then, we have lived together in Santoff Claussen until we were old enough to travel and lived on our own. We were given blessing by Ombric, and we traveled to the west, to Burgess. By then we were in, hmm, in our late twenties. We were there, planning to live there for the rest of our lives. We never really stayed in the village, just near it. The reason why you don't see us, but we did see you.

"Then, it was early December," the blackness changed to the woods where his lake was, and with the words that Nightlight says, the scenery moves as if to reenact what happened, "and Katherine and I were going to have a picnic near a lake we found many years ago. We heard that you fell in there the day before, and so we thought of visiting. We were old people by then, feeble and weak, with the possibly of an organ failure. My heart gave out first, I died just right beside the lake. I knew Katherine couldn't bear to leave me, and I knew that she wouldn't do so because I would be alone in the woods. The next thing I remember is my separation from my body in time to see a sad little girl walking to the lake. I also knew she was your sister, who else would've come to the lake so young and grief-stricken? You must've been the best of friends and siblings." We were. "I felt tugged to your body, however, and the Moon was visible that time. I left the girls to be sucked in by your body at the bottom of the lake. I have no choice, like that Moonbeam that got sucked in to my dagger before I woke up in this world with the ice in my heart. Now don't look like that, I was just retelling a story."

Jack hadn't noticed that he scrunched his face up at the mention of the Moon and his sister, the no-choice part, the ice and being sucked in. "Sorry, continue."

"Katherine buried me near the lake, how... peculiar of her since I thought she'd prefer to bury me in Santoff Claussen, and she put the dagger just a few inches in the soil on top of me. That night, the Moon shone over you through the thin ice, and that's how you came to be. The Moon locked me away to the deepest part of your mind, and he wanted me to resurface when the time is right. I'm sorry, Jack. If I wasn't there that time, you wouldn't have to be lonely for those three centuries. But then you wouldn't be here too."

"This is a lot to process." He said as he remembers some of Nightlight's memories that have somehow went with him to Jack's body.

"A lot. But then you have to remember. Everything about Pitch and you." Nightlight stepped forward and lifted a hand to put it on Jack's head. Then everything came rushing in.

The first time they talked on a bench. A meeting in the forest and taunts. That kiss because Pitch refused to let go of him. Going to Ombric's place to let Pitch get a book he was looking for. Jack going down to Pitch's lair to a surprise. That first sensual touch. Pitch's warmth, his length. That time in the shower. Pitch's closeness. Pitch's lips. Pitch's body. Pitch's hand. Pitch's harsh breath against his ear. That moment of truth from Ombric, the fight that followed, his discovery of the dagger, the confession in his igloo after. Their first time on his birthday, that morning of sweetness, that night of darkness and nightmares and betrayal-

Jack lurched away from Nightlight's hand, slumping to the floor in disbelief with tears in his eyes. His head should be hurting because of the flashbacks, but why does his chest feels so tight and he can't breathe and his shoulders heaved when sobs wracked his body and his chest hurts so much and he cried. He clawed at his chest as if it could hope full loosen so he could breathe more easily.

He shouldn't have heard Nightlight's voice over his sobbing, but, "Jack, you should have died when the shadows took you, but the Moonbeam in my dagger prevented it, and it managed to lock your memories away. You were chosen because the Moon needed someone strong to protect the children in my place. And you're here because you need to remember, especially now that you've given yourself to Pitch the second time."

Pitch said he loved him, and he had believed in him. Jack said he loves Pitch too. He was the first one to say it. Was it driven by his desperation? Or did he really feel that way? Either way, he had said it, and he can't help but wanted Pitch's words back to him. It had felt good, being told that he was loved. Even though it was for a short time... he was grateful.

He wasn't also sure if Pitch really meant it. When he was restrained by the shadows... he looked so broken. And sad. But then when Jack gave himself to the shadows... Pitch made no move, but shout at the shadows.

Was his temporary death the cause of the normal skin tone of Pitch's arm? That was what the book was for?

"Jack, you need to wake up, or else you'll be trapped. Jack!"

Jack came to focus when hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him, Nightlight's fingers digging into his flesh, but not enough to draw blood. Jack laughed bitterly as tears rolled down his face. Wouldn't it be better though? he was tempted to say. Nightlight huffed in frustration as if he knew what Jack was thinking.

"Jack, you need to wake up! I'm sorry, but I have to slap you to do it. You're in no condition to concentrate."

But no, Nightlight didn't slap him, he punched him, that bastard. But Jack was grateful for the pain though. Also, did Nightlight just say those long sentences? As far as he knows, Nightlight prefers to communicate using charades, kinda like Sandy, but Jack couldn't bring himself to care. He doesn't like to guess what the motions meant, at least Sandy has his golden sand.

He woke up gasping and crying and he felt an arm around him, keeping him close. His breaths came faster than before and he struggled out of Pitch's bed, trying to keep himself together. He picked up his hoodie and pants on the floor and put them on. If a talk didn't go well he'd need to escape as fast as he can without being naked. His fears rang loud and clear.

What if he doesn't really love me? What if it was all just for a show, including his sadness last night? What if he's really just using me? What if I was just a fucktoy, after he's done with me he'd just throw me? What if he'll leave me? What if I'll go back to what I was before? What if... What if, what if, what if?

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

Pitch wasn't sleeping. He had tried, only to be woken by the peak of a dark, tensed, pressuring nightmare, his body having already broken in a sweat, and his nostrils full of the scent of his own fear. He hated that smell ; it was a thick one that invaded his nose and stayed there for hours, even as he calmed himself and relaxed, close to the odour of a clammy cave, a mix of water wearing rocks out and damp fur of bats. That scent made him sick, and these days he reeked of it.

Jack was still sleeping when he awoke, and he silently slided out of the bed - he didn't need to be careful, he was naturally silent, or rather it was an art he had long mastered. He had gone take a shower then dressed himself in the living room where he kept his clothes - the bedroom was merely that : a bed, though he had added a bedside table at some point, though it contained nothing more than three (two now) bottles of lubricant, and a single book that was put on the surface beside a lamp. After that, he'd stayed for a long time sitting in an armchair, his chin resting between his thumb and two fingers as he stared intensely at the dark room. He had had the habit of staying in total darkness for a time so long he couldn't remember it, only knowing it came from far before the very first war against the Shadowed Men and their ink, when he was a warrior.

He grimaced as he remembered that. It was a human habit. He didn't want to be human.

Couldn't help it.

A relatively long moment passed before a new scent of fear - cooler, recognizable - raised up enough for him to come out of his thoughts, and he realized it had been in the air for quite a time before he was even conscious of it. It was still low and steady, though, and Pitch could tell it was the result of a nightmare. He couldn't make out what the fear was, it seemed that Jack was too deep in his mind to let out anything more than just that fear, as if all thing was locked in him but that feeling.

Pitch came back into the room and installed himself next to Jack, turning the light of the lamp on. He looked at him for a moment, before turning his gaze to the wall in front of him, then turning the light off, eyes still open. He stayed there. The smell of Jack's fear, carrying no meaning at all with it, was a delight too good and deep for him to try to end it.

The sudden peak of Jack's fear sent a warm shiver through his body, and he expected it to settle again as if it was a big but simple wave, when it dropped completely, as if something had knocked him out even in his sleep. Jack made a sound of distress and Pitch turned, lowering himself so he would lay instead of sitting. He put a firm arm around him as he heard a broken sob coming out of Jack's mouth, and leaned to kiss the back of his neck.

Jack's sharp fear and a trail of meaningness that it carried with it was all the warning he got before Jack woke up suddenly and struggled to get out of his grip, banging the back of his head into Pitch's leaning face in the process. 'Mphft!'

Jack went to his feet quickly and Pitch watched him with a consterned gaze putting his clothes back on with a hurriedness that Pitch didn't want to understand.
Pitch, after rubbing rapidely at his nose that was now hurting terribly, sat up, feet on the floor. 'Where do you think you're going like that ?'

Subject: The feeeeeeeelsss ;w; Wed Feb 10, 2016 10:32 am

Jack turned to Pitch when he heard him with mixed emotions. Confusion, disbelief, hurt, and... love. He held down a sob, but a tear rolled down his cheek as he stared at Pitch's eyes. Those eyes, he loved them, but it seems as though he can't bear to look at them anymore. He forced himself to. "P-Pitch, I... I remember everything..." And everything means, well, everything. He still can't believe Pitch did that...

Jack finally turned away from Pitch, putting his hands up to his mouth in a weak attempt to silence his sobs. His body shook and his chest heaved as he continued to cry. The hurt was still there, and the shadows' voices, gods, those, they, they were speaking to him, told him about - he choked on a sob - about what Pitch was doing, and he, that stupid Jack Frost, gave up on the light and now here he is, crying and trying not to flee and bury himself under meters of snow. He refused to slump to the floor, if he did, he wouldn't know if he could still stand up.

He had hoped that there would be no problems when he's with Pitch but no, he is Jack Frost, and Pitch was the Nightmare King, of course there was something bound to come up between them. But Jack hadn't even seen that coming, he had no idea. And it hurt, terribly, because Pitch was the only one who bothered with him those days, and he had gotten used to him. He loved him. He didn't think it was possible, but he did anyway. And Pitch had said he loved him, but...

Had Jack's actions forced Pitch to say those words? Did he even mean them? What if Pitch only said those because Jack said them first? What if Pitch took advantage of his loneliness to try that on him? What if it was really forced so that - Jack's breathing escalated - Jack would be close to him to do just that? Was he just a tool so that Pitch could gain something?

Jack took a step back away. He remembered now, but then he is now over-thinking. He hugged himself by the elbows. He can't help but feel this way. Did his three hundred years of loneliness made him so desperate to at least have someone acknowledge him? He knew he was playing with fire when he approached Pitch that time, and he knew he was getting burns when that kiss happened, those were good burns too.

But he thought again, had all those been lies like the shadows have told him? Everything that happened between them, lies?

If that's the case, then, he was better off on his own before he became a Guardian.

(What if the shadows lied...? Jack doesn't think so, the shadows were really clever that day. Everything they'd said fell in to place like a puzzle. And, gods, he had believed them. Pitch was just standing right there shouting at the shadows, instead of helping him fight it...

When he let everything go, the shadows were welcome. How he'd give everything back just to float there, feeling and worrying about nothing again.)

He should've known no one really wanted him like that, just someone who can pick up and fool with until they're done and leave him behind, hanging.

He never asked for this.

He just asked for someone who really appreciates him, who wouldn't hurt him like the way Pitch did, who wouldn't even see him as something - someone - else but as Jack Frost.

Clearly, it's too much to ask for, and he ended up like this, broken and feeling alone, even with the other presence in the room.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

That piece of news cut Pitch's breath for the briefest instant.

So it was now - Terribly, terribly soon - that he had to give up on Jack. He had been thinking about that moment only some minutes ago, sitting in the dark of the living-room, and had believed he was prepared, merely enjoyed the last few moments of this... passing fancy.

His mouth opened on a silent 'Oh'.

How terribly, terribly wrong he had been.

He looked away from Jack for a moment, unable to stand to look at Jack, at the scene that was happening in which he didn't want to participate. He wanted to read it like a passage of one of those badly written romances that he didn't read anyway, to escape from the script and-

He narrowed his eyes at his covered knees. That wasn't what he usually wanted. He was used to want to participate, to be the center of attention, he used to dream of being the main character, being seen if not believed in. Was his recovered humanity making him that weak ?

He rapidely looks up at Jack, a firm, determined expression upon his face, and fierceness in his eyes.

'You remember what you think you know.' He stands, anger slowly building itself in him, and if a stranger had been looking at the scene, he would have felt the same anxiety than anyone did when seeing the Nightmare King - Pitch didn't need that greyish skin (almost completely lost now) to appear in that transcendant sublimity that made children's eyes wet and adults' stomach turn.

'But would you only ask~ ?' he says in that honeyed voice of his. 'Has it ever crossed your mind that all I did I did it because I had no other solution ? No. Because you're so full of self-pity, wallowing in your own distress and all these days when you were crying, mewling on your fate I was facing the weight of my own, slow, inevitable destruction.' His voice had been raising, but he stopped himself abruptly, as if something in him wasn't ready to tell Jack more of what he'd felt during those months, what he was facing now.

Subject: Re: After the awakening (Pitch & Jack) Wed Feb 10, 2016 12:46 pm

Jack widened his wet eyes. What...? He felt his frustrations well up. Frustrations at himself, and at what happened. But never at Pitch. Never. He's just... upset and heartbroken. Jack had forced himself to calmly listen, despite the tears running down his face, and they froze just by his chin and dropped down as little ice spheres.

"Yeah, I remember everything I think I know. I know that what the shadows told me was half the truth, you heard them too, didn't you? I know that you just watched there while I was taken by the shadows. I never blamed you though. And no, it never crossed my mind to ask." He said, his voice unusually cold. "And a solution to what? What destruction? Is your skin turning normal a sign that you're turning normal? I'm jealous.

"I know I'm a brat, that I cry and whimper and whine because of- of this." He motioned to himself. "Yes, I am full of self-pity. Yes, I am this broken." He shielded his eyes using his bangs as he looked down, tightening his arms around himself. "But..." he added softly, "has it ever crossed your mind that what you're doing also hurts me? I know this sounds so selfish, but being alone for a long time without talking to anybody, or seeing me... It has turned me into this. It has turned me into someone... who gets what he can for himself. I learned to treasure everything that comes into my way. Can't I be selfish once in a while? Can't I also think for myself? I can't always think of others, Pitch." This is bad, he can't stop talking.

"You're lucky, you know? Even though you remained unseen for a length of time, you have your shadows, at least you have someone to talk to and to argue with. But me? I only have the wind, the skies, the snow, the Moon.... all of which who can't talk back or speak even a word to me." His bottom lip trembled. "When I finally had someone to talk to, they screamed at me that I was a nuisance and that I was ruining something. You can guess who it is. Yeah, Bunny. I ruined Easter that day, and I was really happy when he could see me but then he said those words, I-" He clenched his jaw. "He said I wasn't needed, and so I believed him. Because... what use is someone who can't be seen and who only brings winter and mischief but he still can't be seen? Nothing. He's nothing of use.

"Where you have your Nightmares, I have nothing. Even though people can't see you, they still know you. They talk about you... And me? I was just an expression. At least you weren't just an expression." He laughed bitterly. "I was tempted to accept that time. Your offer in Antarctica? You were right. You understand loneliness, but you weren't entirely alone. I wanted to accept, but I don't want to be feared.

"Right now, Pitch, you're hurting me. And I-" he hesitated a bit, "I love you. This is more than just distress. And you also make it sound like I know nothing. Am I really that a brat to you? Pitch, I spent almost half of my life as a spirit unseen. Do you think I'd learn nothing? You think so lowly of me. I'm hurt." He chuckled, it almost sounds like a self-deprecating one.

Now that is all out in the open...

Jack wishes he won't have to feel anymore.

He's exhausted, but he needs to see this to the end. He just wants to sleep and never wake up ever again.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

Pitch's mind came to a halt at Jack's words : "This is more than just distress". His brows furrowed, not quite sure he could understand, or want to understand them. He'd thought - still couldn't think otherwise - that Jack loved him because he made him feel less lonely. What did this mean ? He wanted to tell him not to be ridiculous, but was cut off by Jack's speech that still went on.

When he was finished, Pitch turned away, crossing his arms as he looked at the wall in front of him. 'I don't want to play 'who's the saddest' with you. I don't want to be pitied', he added in a lower voice. 'But if you think I had conversions with the Shadowed Men, ahah ! Jack, pardon me, but this is a laughable idea. All they know is how to control someone's mind, or to be precise how to influence it.'

He sighed. 'They were useful, as the Nightmare King' He snorted. 'As the boogeyman. Because yes, I'm a expression too. A ridiculous one at that. And now that I've lost them, that-' He shakes his head and turns around to face him, his expression far less hard than some moments ago. His eyes wet. 'I want them back, Jack, I want back the figures of shadows and fear that tormented me for years and turned me into someone completely different. I want them back because they are part of who I am now and it's not a question of company, I don't feel as if I had company in their presence, I- it's-... I don't want to change and I already am. I've been changing for a few months actually, and looking at me I could see a figure that I didn't recognize, that I couldn't acknowledge entirely as being me, that I didn't understand. Do you know how bad it is to not understand who you are ?' He chuckled. 'Yes you know... But I don't think you know how tormenting it could be to see that happening. I even had my skin-changing its colour to show me the state I was, how it my... my humanity was progressing in me, like a decease.

'And yes. I stood there, shouting, not moving, when it happened. You can't blame it. After all it was the plan... It just failed miserably.'

Subject: Warning, triggering content at the near end. Thu Feb 11, 2016 8:57 am

((Warning, triggering content at the near end.))

Jack dug his nails into his arms as he still looked down, couldn't bear to look at Pitch right now, with all his weaknesses spilled out like this. "I'm not playing that either. I want you to understand, I want to understand... But the shadows do talk to you, don't they? At least they talk to you. And-" He stopped. Wait... did Pitch just say he wants the shadows back? When did Pitch lose the shadows- oh. That time. He pursed his lips as he exhaled a shaky breath, he knew the comfort means less this time, and he doesn't want it. Why can't we just exchange places then...? I wanted to be human as well, I want to be seen. "I envy you... You're changing, while I'm... I'm stuck here... You may think of it as a disease, but I think of it as a chance. A chance to start again, to try things I haven't been able to do." He bit his lip so hard it drew blood as he thought about the last part that Pitch said. "And all this, because of a plan? What plan? What was in that book that you got from Ombric? What? Was all we had part of the plan too? Is this option B in case everything didn't go as expected? Did you plan this out too?" He gasped out.

Why is this happening? What happened? Where did I go wrong? Was it me? Am I that vulnerable to be a target? Am I that... that weak? Am I that easily manipulated? He took a step back again and he clutched the fabric on his chest, his arms sore. He was certain they had bruised. Am I that desperate? Am I that broken? Or is it that I'm just too open to be taken advantage of? Am I that stupid? Am I too trusting?

What am I really?

Pitch, what am I really, to you?

Was I just a plaything?

If so, did I satisfy you enough? Was I good for you? What?

He shook his head, confused and exhausted. He hated himself. He just want this to be over. Fear is a constant thing in Jack's life, but he haven't felt this much fear before. Not this overwhelming that it had clouded Jack's thoughts. Not this much that he wanted to lie down and cry forever. Not this much that he wanted to will himself away to stop this.

And not a thought of the world's children made him think otherwise. Jamie and the others could still live without him, yeah? Pitch too. The others too. No one wanted Jack before, why now? The world will still turn, the sun will still shine, the seasons will still change, the snow will still fall, the children will still believe in the other Guardians, even without him. It'd be nice if their hurting would end now.

Maybe if I really wanted, I would believe myself to... just disappear. But he never did, it wasn't easy to just believe that. And it wasn't the first time he thought of that.

I'm a terrible spirit, a terrible Guardian, and a terrible person overall.

I'm sorry.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

Pitch made a loud sound of frustration when Jack stopped speaking. 'Jack, why don't you understand ?! Gods ! The plan started to go wrong from the moment I started to genuinely like you. I'm pretty sure the Shadows sensed how unconvinced I was about... letting you be killed. But it was the plan, it was supposed to go like that : you were supposed to sacrifice yourself for me.' He shook his head and marked a pause.

'That book I needed from Ombric's library contained a spell - I wasn't sure I'd find it here, to be honest, but it was the most plausible source. Quite a long time ago now, a girl of the name of Katherine managed to-' He paused again, the words hard to give away, the memory of his own defeat creating an inky form of black in his yellow eyes, as if by only letting them rushing to the surface of his mind he was exposing himself, along with the dark, vibrant anger that never ceased. He had his face down, and looked up to Jack for a moment, wondering why he was giving so much of himself to that boy. To him, memories of his past, as well as his deepest thoughts were the most private thing he had, that is why he had always been reluctant to speak of himself. Telling Jack how lonely he was too, that day on that icy cliff... he had regretted it the moment he'd said it. Even though he had wanted to, planned to, in order to make Jack come to his side, it still had felt as if the words were escaping his mouth, probably because the truth in them wasn't intended. It was supposed to be a lie, or at least just an attempt to win Jack's trust, but it had sounded so genuine that for a second he'd thought someone else had said them.

He shook his head again, looking away from Jack. 'Katherine managed to give me my humanity back,' he said in the most detached tone he could manage. 'That spell - which I read about after centuries of researches ; thanksfully, Katherine's curse was spreading extremely slowly - that spell, I say, was supposed to counter it, and let me stay who I am... Who I was. The spell needed that I did a most inhuman thing : let someone be killed for me. Strangely it did not require me to kill them with my own hands - I think killing is for another purpose, split one's soul, if Ombric's book is rentirely reliable - but it needed that someone cared for me, enough to sacrifice themselves.'

'At first I didn't know who to choose, I thought about getting someone from the Fae World. But then, you came down into that hole, unknowing you could have stepped into the ninth circle of Hell where the treacherous lie. You came without any reason, as if you wanted to just... see me. Quite surprised at first, unable to really comprehend it, I eventually remembered how awfully, terribly alone you were, so much that you would go see your own enemy to have a little company. So I thought : You were the perfect target. Don't look at me with the eyes of a beaten puppy,' he said even though Pitch wasn't even facing him. He had grown so used to see that hurt expression on Jack's face these last days that he had started to think it was his natural one. 'You were.' He looked up and locked his fierceful eyes to Jack's. 'So I decided to make you love me. So intensely that you would loose yourself in me until you couldn't quite distinguish where you ended, and where I began.'

He laughed bitterly. 'There's a human tale, maybe you heard of it - although I doubt it, it is quite.... boring for someone who prefers fun to old books. In it was a Viscount, who bet with his evil friend he could get the prudest and most beautiful, faithful woman into his bed. He had the reputation of getting whoever he wanted, and the woman heard of it, so she rejected him, took his words of love for the lies they were - at least that they were at the beginning. But the Viscount used all stratagems to get her, and finally he found one that could work : he showed repentance, remorse. He showed his 'good side', and asked her to make him become a better man. But spending so much time with her, all the time thinking he was still lying, he...' He let his sentence unfinished. 'They made love ; she eventually gave up and abandoned herself to him with such a naivety and innocence ! When his friend asked him to sacrify her, to abandon her, for the sake of their bet and their friendship, as well as for to prove that he didn't love her, he did. Several days after, learning that she had died of despair, he let himself be killed in a duel.'

'That man was a fool.'

'And so am I.'

Subject: Re: After the awakening (Pitch & Jack) Sun Feb 21, 2016 12:11 pm

"Yeah, I don't really understand that much about why the spell needed you to have someone sacrifice themselves for you." Then Jack widened his bloodshot eyes. "Katherine...?" Jack remembered her in Nightlight's memories. A girl with a goose... Jack thinks she's well-known as Mother Goose, giving stories to children to help them sleep better in the night, where good always prevails over the bad. "She cast a spell on you...?" He searched his head for any memory of a curse but nothing came up...

"And about me being lonely enough to seek you out... Well, I've always longed for warmth, and I found that in you. I just wanted company who wouldn't see me as a kid who needed lecturing and protecting, and I thought about you. The others are so busy and they see me as a kid and I'm afraid to ask, but I think you know that since you know people's fears. So what better than to be with you who knows my fears, and who can empathize with me? The initial plan was just to annoy you and I wasn't thinking twice on being with you, so I went with it and I... I can say that I liked your company and that... I do love you... ever since you showed me what's it's like to be cared for, even if it started as... dare I say, fake." He has to admit, on that day when they were on the cliff he wanted to accept that offer and forget everything. 'Finally, someone who understands me.' he had thought that day. But as he said earlier, he doesn't want to be feared, but another part of him just wants to not care about what others think. To just, be really free. A tugging in his mind had snapped him out of it. Now that he thinks about it, was the tugging done by Nightlight who was buried deep in his mind?

He managed to put a small smile. "I know I'm supposed to be crying but I can't help but pick up that you're saying that you like me without me having to say it first. I'm supposed to be sobbing on how everything hurt that night, but crying's pretty annoying now. I have a short-attention span and I may be like this but I still have fun in me, you know. It just stays dormant in situations like these, but it's still there. I can't help but also pick up that you say you genuinely do like me, and I can hear a hint of regret in your voice. Hey, I'm sorry I misunderstood everything, but I can't exactly accept everything you say right now, I... I'm tired..." He walked towards the door. He was just so tired now. "I need to think about this. But you haven't lost me Pitch, and you're alive. Not like the human pair in your story, both dead." He took a deep breath and sighed it out.

But there was a gnawing on his mind again. Was it Nightlight,

or was it the leftover shadows that somehow managed to seep in?

Fear was still pawing at his insides, like a cat would to annoy you.

He shook his head, as soon as he had his thoughts organized (he was still a bit disoriented because of suddenly remembering stuff) he's gonna come back and make things right.

Like it was his fault in the first place.

When it's really not.

He thought more about that night when he lingered by the doorway. He had a question. "Hey... If I was supposed to die, why am I still alive? I know Nightlight and the Moonbeam helped me, but why? Did your spell even work?" He turned to look straight at Pitch and knew he missed that man. He missed everything, and that curse changed it. But why... Why would Katherine do that?

He gazed longingly and fondly at Pitch, knowing that he's too open with his emotions but he doesn't care. If Pitch thinks that he's going to lose Jack, no, that's not gonna happen. Even through this, Jack still came back. Hell, he doesn't remember stuff when he first came here after that night, and now he remembers. No matter how hurt he would be, he'd still come back. Now that I think about it, hurting is so bittersweet you'd cry tears of disbelief...

And he can't help but really think...

He wanted this man. He knew he wants this since Antarctica. He chose him even after everything. And he's not letting it go now.

He's not gonna give up.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

'I-' Pitch, looking at a point on the wall as he listened to Jack, started to answer when he turned his eyes back to Jack and was struck by his intense gaze. 'Stop- Stop looking-' He sighed, waved it off with a flick of his hand. After what had been said, and most of all after his expectations about how things would go once Jack would discover everything, that looking, wanting, fond, was confusing. He didn't want to deal with trying to understand it, right now. He didn't want to get other expectations, especially ones that would lead him to disappointement and despair when they wouldn't meet the reality.

'No, it didn't work. You're not dead, are you ? If I hadn't hesitated, if I tried harder, if you didn't have that light' he said the word as if it was everything he loathed in the world, as if it had always, always been in his way 'things would have ended up like there were supposed to. But there is no use in thinking of what I would have preferred, as I don't even know it, and as things cannot change, anyways.'

He inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly, half shaking his head through it, as he sat back onto the bed, managing a naturally graceful movement. He wanted to tell Jack not to come back if it was to tell him he didn't want to see him again ; he wanted to tell him not to come back at all, that he didn't want him to come back ; he was desperate to understand his own desires, to comprehend the situation. Or rather himself. The problem, these days, wasn't the situation, it was himself, he didn't know what he wanted, couldn't make the difference between what he should be, what he wanted to be, what he didn't want to become. Everthing was a giant blur inside of him, ironically way more shadowed than when the Nightmare Men were in him, as if blackness and smoke had always helped him to see things more clearly. Through a veil, a man saw things more distinctly. He was focused.

Pitch felt now scattered.

Subject: Re: After the awakening (Pitch & Jack) Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:08 am

Everything slowed for Jack as his heart sank and broke. What...? Then... Jack's breathing accelerated and his knees buckled as he put a hand out to the doorway to balance himself. Then... is Pitch gong to be mortal...? And... and... then I would lose him and then be alone again...? There it is, that fear. That fear of losing Pitch, it was always there, and now it's distinguishable among other fears. It's close to terror, as it is closer to coming true. Jack gripped the doorway until his knuckles turned white and his fingers hurt. His other hand clenched to a fist until his fingernails dug in and drew blood that dropped slowly to the floor. He clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth, looking down to shield his eyes from Pitch. He didn't notice the pain of his hands, he just noticed the pain in his heart.

But no, he resolved not to let go, and he's going to do it. He's determined not to lose Pitch. He almost lost everything once, when he saw Pitch restrained by those shadows that night, wounded, and he wasn't just about to give up just because Pitch is turning human. He's resolved, that won't change.

He also noticed the way Pitch said 'light', but he can't blame him. He knows it goes way back before Jack was made, before Jackson was born. (Then he wondered in that moment if he would be able to even to call forth the light lie he did that night...?)

He took a deep breath.

"Sure, okay, it didn't work. But hey, I'm not giving up on you. I'll still choose you. I gave you my heart Pitch; if you're gone I wouldn't know what to do. So, if you don't feel the same way now, please... don't throw it away? Even if you're different now," he shook his head and look at Pitch again to grin, "I would still be here, whether you like it or yes." He did that on purpose, that means Pitch has no choice. Even if Pitch would close the lair up, he'll find ways to get in.

Jack realized that was the old Jack, always grinning and trying to make things bearable, who was talking. At least, for now, he hoped his fun, his hope, would work with himself and reach Pitch, just this once...

"And... I'll help you. Along the way. Just please, don't push me away. Don't turn me away. Don't shut me out. I need you." There goes that look again. That look with fondness, longing, and love...

He hoped those would reach Pitch and then he'd realize what he had.

Jack thought that hope was selfish, but he doesn't care. Feelings are supposed to be free, not to be restrained.

Either way, if they're not returned, they still hurt.

He's desperate, yes, desperate not to lose Pitch. He'd go beg at the Moon even when he knew he'd receive no answer. He'd go to Ombric, or North, just to return Pitch to what he was, what he wanted.

He'd do anything.

Posts : 17 Join date : 2015-08-14

Pitch was not surprised at the degree of terror that reached Jack, he had expected him to fear losing him, to fear seeing him dead for it meats he would be alone. What actually took Pitch by surprise was when that cord of fear almost disappeared into a remarkably thin thread, vanquished by... He only realized what it was when Jack started to talk.

Determination.

Jack was determined not to loose him, so determined that even Pitch himself wasn't an obstacle enough. He stared at Jack with wide eyes, not even conscious of it, and found himself speechless when Jack finished. He wanted to chuckle at Jack's sheer determination, at how he was so sure of himself and of the fact he wouldn't abandon, at Jack's pun and at his smile : but he was stunned.

There was a long moment of silence when Jack finished to talk. Pitch looked down, stared now at the floor without seeing it. 'I'm...' He cleared his throat. 'I'm grateful. For not giving up on me. It's more than I could do for myself...'

He stood and looked at Jack.

'Alright. I'll see you out, if you want', he proposed, gesturing at the door, as he remembered Jack wanted to leave.

Subject: Re: After the awakening (Pitch & Jack) Sat Mar 05, 2016 1:43 pm

Jack fluttered his eyes and pouted his lips a bit. What, no declarations of love after what I said? He cursed himself inwardly. Bad Jack, you're so insensitive sometimes! He continued to curse in his mind. Jack, oh I can't begin how you're so stupid sometimes- "Well, you know where to find me, whenever you need me." He smiled. "And I would like that very much, thank you." He stumbled out of the room, where his staff was on the floor. He blinked at it and remembered. Ah, must've been the time when my head hurt so bad he had to carry me to his room... It must've been forgotten that it was there... He walked unsteadily to it and he used it as a crutch, leaning on it. He sighed. Oh gods, I'm so exhausted with all the crying and thinking and remembering everything and feeling all those fear. His shoulders sagged. And possibly after this, I have to go and visit Ombric again, and raid North's library. I'm sure both of them wont mind, especially North.

Well, as long as Pitch gets what he wants, it's fine. He thought happily.

"Lead the way, please." He said as he struggled to stay upright. Dear Jack, you can't just pass out here, you told him you would leave, to give the both of you some time to think! Don't pass out now! And he hates his tendency to pass out from too much of something, which, for some reason, he has. He hopes he wouldn't pass out now. It would be embarrassing.

Not that he minded being caught by Pitch like a maiden who fainted...

Jack, you're so stupid but sappy at times. He thought, wanting to laugh out loud but he's tired. He sighed instead.

But really, don't faint!